


take me back to the start

by withoutwords



Series: Ballum Tumblr Fics [1]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Time, Infidelity, M/M, Pining, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: Callum’s frantic. He’s kissing Ben with teeth and breath and fury, trying to tug Ben’s jeans open like he’s back in the army and fighting some unknown enemy
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum Tumblr Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040865
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	take me back to the start

**Author's Note:**

> The first in a series of short fics I've posted to Tumblr. I figured I'd try and archive them on here as much as possible. Hope you enjoy x

Callum’s frantic. He’s kissing Ben with teeth and breath and fury, trying to tug Ben’s jeans open like he’s back in the army and fighting some unknown enemy. 

Ben’s been there before - desperate for something he denied himself for years. Shit scared he’ll never be the same once he’s had it.

“Hey, hey,” Ben says in a gravelly voice, holding him at the waist to stop him. “This ain’t a race, mate. Slow and steady.”

Callum huffs, not meeting Ben’s eye, and says, “Sorry,” to their feet.

“Don’t be sorry.”

Ben tugs him back in, a thrill twisting down his spine as he feels Callum’s half hard cock there against his belly. Callum’s gentler when he kisses now, a slow, open mouth, and Ben always loved this part, with Paul; something he hasn’t let himself have since.

They kiss until it starts to ache, until some of the tension has left Callum’s shoulders and he’s more pliable in Ben’s hands. His fingers grabs at Ben’s hair, his neck - the other hand low on his back, teasingly close to his arse.

Ben wishes things were different. He wishes he could give it all to Callum. Every last part of him. He wishes Callum would take it.

“Can I?” he asks, giving Callum’s waistband a tug, and Callum just gasps through his kisses, “Yeah, yeah.”

It’s awkward, and amateur, Ben pulling his cock free while Callum does the same to him. There’s no points for technique or finesse, but Ben’s not keeping score - Callum’s probably never done this, probably never touched another man like this.

That alone is enough to get him going.

“S'good?” Ben pants at him, the two of them standing so close, their hands and knuckles brushing as they pull at each other - fast and slick and setting sparks across Ben’s skin.

“Mmm,” Callum groans. which Ben takes as a yes, his mouth falling open and his head tipping forward to rest on Ben’s own. 

It’s a shame how dark it is tonight - a shame that Ben can’t take this in properly. Callum’s face and mouth and the way he teases his bottom lip in his teeth. His big strong hand around Ben, and his long, lean cock in Ben’s own hand. He’s sure it looks as amazing as it feels … he’s sure he wants to do it all again, on a bed, with every light on.

They’re just a heaving shadow - no sound but the rustle of their clothes, and the cut of their breathing, and those noises at the back of Callum’s throat that he can’t seem to control.

“Yes, _yes_ ,” Ben gasps as he comes, falling into Callum and burying his face in his neck. He twists his wrist and tugs a little harder until Callum’s coming right after him, body siezing and gasping loud as if he’s shocked that it happened. 

They hold each other up like that, just standing there for long moments and trying to catch their breath - a wave of disappointment rushing over Ben. It’s over.

“You want to come back to the car lot?” he asks when Callum pulls away to do his pants up. Ben can just see the red of his cheeks, his ears - he wants to put his mouth on them. “Tidy up or whatever?”

“No, I can’t.”

“You sure? I got some drinks there, we could - ”

“Ben,” Callum snaps, putting his hands out. “I ain’t coming back with you. End of.”

“Alright. Fair enough.”

“I gotta go.”

“Callum, wait,” Ben says, trying not to hate himself for the soft way he says it - for how soft Callum makes him. “Please, just let me,”

Ben pulls him in by his collar and Callum kisses him back, and it’s open and longing and sweet again. He hopes Callum will take it with him. Remember it when he’s lonely.

“Night.”

**Author's Note:**

> thefancyspin.tumblr.com


End file.
